An account of the author's professional life; his wonderful tricks and feats; with laughable incidents, and adventures as a magician, necromancer, and ventriloquist.
Excerpt from the Preface:
In presenting my Autobiography, I am fully aware of the grave responsibility I assume, and equally so of the presumption of a person describing, in a measure, his own character;—yet it is essentially better to relate one’s adventures himself, than to entrust them to the dictation of others. The reminiscences of my life may not be entitled to any special merit, beyond the amusement they may afford for the moment; yet, to pass away as others have done whose record would have been useful and interesting, we should be derelict in duty to ourselves and the public. Not that my life presents any particular traits above a busy career; yet, if of no special benefit to mankind, it will not be detrimental to the morals and impulses of those who may be pleased to peruse it.
My whole object has been to present facts,—to draw from truth, not fiction,—to present events as they occurred, rather than appeared,—to demonstrate the variety and peculiar phases of mankind; not only to smile at the follies and foibles that surround us, but to sympathize with the aggravations and misfortunes of poor humanity,—to create a laugh rather than a tear. Life is like a vast ocean: to many, it is calm and placid, with picturesque harbors; to others, a boisterous voyage, of great perils, and ofttimes shipwreck. My own pilgrimage has been a felicitous one, for I have always yielded to those convictions on which our individual prosperity is based; yet, favored or afflicted, who can or should but feel happy?
Their pleasantries and anecdotes, with brief sketches of their eccentricities, I have given, to the best of my recollection. During this long period I have never made a memorandum, therefore have written entirely from memory; consequently, there may be some slight inaccuracies in regard to dates and circumstances; if so, they will in no way invalidate the facts.
PREFACE
To Signor Blitz
CHAPTER I. EARLY LIFE
My Birth
School Days
CHAPTER II. APPEARANCE IN PUBLIC
First Performance
The Conceited Doctor
Return Home
CHAPTER III. EXPERIENCES AND INCIDENTS IN ENGLAND
First Appearance In England
Clerical Opposition
Before the Council
An Experiment
A Superstitious Magistrate
First Visit To London
A Nervous Landlady
CHAPTER IV. AN ADVENTURE WITH GAMBLERS
Lost, but Saved
CHAPTER V. INQUISITIVE LADIES
The Broken-hearted Maiden
Disgusted with Managers
Jack Ketch, the Hangman
CHAPTER VI. IRELAND
An Aristocratic Cabbage
The Frightened Doctor
CHAPTER VII. IRISH CHARACTER
Daniel O'Connell
Irish Wit
The Talking Codfish
The Dishonest Servant
The Frightened Tax-Collector
CHAPTER VIII. THE WITCHES UNDER THE BRIDGE
CHAPTER IX. VISIT TO SCOTLAND
The Spirit of the Mill
The Babe in the Violin Case
Marriage
CHAPTER X. EDINBURG
The Bottled Janitor
The Talking Horse
Manchester
A Clergyman in Trouble
How a Poll-Parrot Paid the Rent
An Aerial Voyage
I Meet a Friend
Personal Jokes
CHAPTER XI. VERY PECULIAR PEOPLE
The Opposite Picture
Individual Oddities
A Wig Regiment
Picture of a Rich Man
CHAPTER XII. ACROSS THE ATLANTIC
Portrait of a Mississippi Major
Arrival in New York
"Young America"
A Man in Search of Business
An Aspiring Waiter
The Ambitious Office Seeker
CHAPTER XIII. ENGAGEMENT AT NIBLO'S GARDEN
A Disturbed Dinner
Ex-President Van Buren
The Marketman Outwitted
Wonderful Money-Bag
The Advantages of being a Ventriloquist
The Astonished Medical Examiner
An Insane Woman
CHAPTER XIV. THE ECCENTRIC DOCTOR VALENTINE
A Wise Phrenologist
The Gun Trick
Caught in the Act
CHAPTER XV. PASSAGE TO BOSTON
In a Hurry to Reach Boston
A Temperance Governor with a Bottle of Whiskey
A Boston Merchant
Faneuil Hall Market
Cambridge
Judge Story
An American General
CHAPTER XVI. SALEM – WITCHCRAFT AND SPIRITUALISM
Rev. Dr. John Prince
Producing Fire From Glass
Codfish Aristocracy of Marblehead
A Lodging at the Expense of the Town
A Minister in Trouble
CHAPTER XVII. INCIDENTS AND ADVENTURES IN PHILADELPHIA
The Great Automaton Chess-Player
A Truant Husband
A Prophecy
Doing a Judge
Egyptian Mummy
CHAPTER XVIII. MY VISIT TO THE SOUTH
Daniel Webster
President Fillmore
Henry Clay
Richmond
Charleston
"De Debil About, Sure"
A Runaway Slave
A Southern Snow-Storm
Affection in Animal Nature
Indian Raid
A Wheel Within A Wheel
An Inventive Genius
CHAPTER XIX. A DANGEROUS CUSTOMER
Bad Men and Worthless Money
A Shot from Behind
Mobile
Experience as a Detective
New Orleans
An Over-Zealous School-Teacher
Jealousy and Love
CHAPTER XX. UP THE MISSISSIPPI RIVER
Gifted Horses
A Financial Crisis
A Nervous Traveller
A Quick-Witted Irishman
A Man on a Pleasure Tour
CHAPTER XXI. IN THE BRITISH PROVINCES
A Myth – One of the Smiths!
John Q. Adams
CHAPTER XXII. A VISIT TO THE PROVINCE OF NOVA SCOTIA
Golden Oranges
Quebec
Before the Bishops and Clergy
Montreal
The Governor-General
Toronto
CHAPTER XXIII. A FEW LAUGHABLE INCIDENTS
The Wise Turkeys
The Astonished Clergyman
A Family Bedroom
Smuggling a Passenger
A Child in a Carpet-Bag
The Mystified Quaker
CHAPTER XXIV. AMUSING INCIDENTS
An Excitement in the Market
Another Market Scene
A Conscientious Doctor
Hours with the Insane
CHAPTER XXV. DAME FORTUNE
Barbadoes
A Royal Bed
Granada
An Uninvited Guest
St. George
St. Vincent
Kingstown
CHAPTER XXVI. THE CHRISTIAN SKIPPER AND HIS CREW
Trinidad – Port of Spain
The Masque Ball
An Expensive Pet
CHAPTER XXVII. ANTIGUA
The Educated Horses
The Kidnapped Negro
St. John
Nevis
Basseterre
CHAPTER XXVIII. A SEA VOYAGE
A Dream of Heaven
An Old Maid on Board
CHAPTER XXIX. CONTINUATION AND CLOSE OF MY TROPICAL TOUR
Jamaica
Kingston
A Haunted House
The Singing and Talking Mule
Demarara
Georgetown
The Prolific Eggs
A Merchant Nonplussed
A Drunkard Saved
CHAPTER XXX. INCIDENTS IN CUBA
The King Pig
Havana
CHAPTER XXXI. INCIDENTS AND EXHIBITIONS IN HAVANA
The Mystic Flower
The Thieving Soldiers
The Unjust Fine
Box of Cigars
The Liberal Landlady
CHAPTER XXXII. THE CUBAN LOVERS
The CAPTAIN-General of Cuba
He Becomes a Victim
Matanzas
Battle with the Bees
CHAPTER XXXIII. THE SPEAKING PORTRAIT
CHAPTER XXXIV. INCIDENTS AND ADVENTURES ELSEWHERE
The Landlord and His Guest
A Surprise-Party Surprised
Old Scratch
A Prison Scene
A Merry Sleighing-Party
CHAPTER XXXV. PHILADELPHIA, AND THE GREAT REBELLION
Soldiers' Reading-Room
Independence Hall
CHAPTER XXXVI. CONCLUSION
A Buzz on 'Change
Thoughts and Sayings of Children
The Dead Canary
A Servant of the Public
